


Katsuki Yuuri and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by lilithiumwords



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Girls, Crack, Humor, I'm Sorry, Katsuki Yuuri is a Magical Girl, M/M, Vicchan Lives, accidental feels, crackity crack what's up I'm back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11612898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithiumwords/pseuds/lilithiumwords
Summary: Somehow, Vicchan lives and manages to turn Yuuri into a Magical Girl. Then he has to save Viktor Nikiforov? What is his life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [selkiesou](http://selkiesou.tumblr.com), from the prompt-a-thon: Accidental magical girl Yuuri? xD

Yuuri trudges up to the front entrance of Yuutopia, his eyes on the ground, his shoulders slumped with misery. He kicks a few cherry blossoms out of the way and then notices that the front doors are, for once, closed. After blinking at the large pile of cherry blossoms in front of the doors, he looks up and surveys Yuutopia, noticing the darkened windows and the sign up that says, "Closed for the week!"

"Right," he sighs, fishing his key out of his pocket. His parents have gone out of town to visit relatives, and his sister is staying with a friend, leaving Yuuri to look after the empty inn while his family enjoys a rare vacation. He unlocks the door and slips inside, smiling when he sees Vicchan waiting in the lobby.

"Hi, Vicchan," Yuuri says, then does a double take. "Vicchan?!"

His dear poodle, who was supposed to have passed away four months ago, barks happily at Yuuri, who gapes at him in shock. He must be hallucinating. The stress from his failure at Nationals and the decision not to go to Worlds, which is taking place tonight --

Then Vicchan barks again, and Yuuri gives in, not caring that it's a delusion. He scoops up Vicchan, shocked by his warmth, and hugs him tightly, tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh, I missed you, Vicchan," he whispers, laughing as Vicchan licks his face.

After a moment, Vicchan wriggles out of Yuuri's arms and hops down, barking at him once, then running off into the building. Yuuri drops his backpack to the floor and removes his shoes, following without thinking. They pass into the woods behind the inn, and finally Vicchan stops in the middle of a clearing, while Yuuri stumbles to a stop, panting.

"Vicchan, you can't just run off like... that..."

There is something sparkling in the middle of the grass. Yuuri finds he can't look away; he is drawn to it, as if it is his destiny. Slowly, as if in a dream, he reaches for the sparkling item, and when he picks it up, he finds in his hands a long black rod with a prismatic jewel on the end, hints of red and silver in the intricate metal work.

"What on earth?"

"You did it, Yuuri! Now we can finally talk to each other!"

Yuuri shrieks and whirls around, but the voice in his head has no body; or so he thinks.

"Down here!" Slowly, Yuuri looks down to stare at Vicchan, who pants happily and spins in a circle. "See! I'm so proud of you, Yuuri! I've been waiting so long for this moment!"

His dog is talking. In his head, even, because the voice isn't even a real sound, but something ethereal and sweet and -- it sounds just like Vicchan, if Vicchan had a human voice.

"Vicchan?" Yuuri whispers, struggling to make sense of this. Vicchan runs up to him and bumps his head against Yuuri's leg, grinning up at him in that happy puppy smile he never lost even as he got older.

"I'll explain everything! But first, Yuuri, hold out your Eros Love Rod and say **Eros Love Power, Make-Up!** "

Yuuri stares at Vicchan in shock, then looks down at the object in his hand, then back at Vicchan. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Just do it!"

Well, if this is still a dream, at least it's pretty interesting. Yuuri shrugs, accepts his fate, and, like many magical girls before him, lifts his magical item with a twirl, putting his heart into the words.

"Eros Love Power, Make-Up!"

Instead of nothing happening, a burst of magic surrounds him, whitening out his vision before erupting in a prismatic stream of black, white, and silver, red interspersed amongst the ribbons of light. All at once, he feels naked as the day he was born, as if the heat from the storm of magic vaporized his clothes, but in the next instant, the hot ribbons of light wrap around his body and tighten, smooth as silk.

 _What the hell?_ Yuuri thinks hysterically, before there is another burst of light and he is left standing in the clearing in a seductive pose, wearing a completely different outfit.

The black lace is tight against his body and clings to every contour, while prismatic white crystals spill over his shoulder and down his side, reaching a distinctly frilly black skirt with red lace beneath the black. A large red ribbon sits at the small of his back, hanging down to his knees, and his legs are wrapped in sheer silver tights. The boots are relatively simple compared to the outfit, looking much like his skates, though embellished with little white crystals. Black gloves that reach to his elbows, decorated with the same white crystals, complete the outfit.

Even his hair feels different, and with shaking fingers, Yuuri reaches up to find his hair slicked back as if he was about to perform on the ice, a white ribbon with a bow on top of his head.

He screams and drops the Eros Love Rod. Then he grabs Vicchan and runs back to the inn, needing a mirror, a drink, _something_ to make sense of this.

Vicchan does not stay silent in his arms, which only adds to his shock. "You did it, Yuuri! Wow! It's even more impressive than I thought it would be! You look amazing!"

"What's happening to me?!" Yuuri barely makes it into the inn without knocking anything over, beyond grateful that the building is empty of guests or family. He skids across the floor, not bothering to take off the boots, until he finds the first restroom, where a tall mirror reveals what he feared.

He is wearing a dress. A frilly, girlish, _magical_ dress that should be, in all rights, in a morning anime show targeted at little girls -- and not on Yuuri, who is twenty-three and very much not a magical girl.

Yuuri squints a little. "This outfit looks kind of familiar..."

Vicchan barks happily. "This is your destiny, Yuuri! I knew as soon as I found you when you were a child! But the magic is very specific, and you could only become Eros when you were ready! And now you are!"

Yuuri is busy trying to take the dress off. It isn't working. "But how the hell can I be a magical girl? Eros?! And you're supposed to be dead!" he adds hysterically. He hasn't checked whether the magic turned him into an actual girl. He isn't sure what's underneath his skirt, but he doesn't want to wait for an interesting camera angle to find out!

Vicchan jumps up at him, and without thinking, Yuuri catches him in his arms, ceasing his attempts to rip off the magical dress. Vicchan licks his face, and the familiar puppy kiss soothes him a little. "I felt that you would be ready soon, and I had to prepare, so I ran away for a little while! Your family thought I had passed away! I'm so sorry, Yuuri! I promise, I won't leave you again!"

Yuuri puts aside his shock over the magical transformation for a moment and hugs Vicchan close, the raw guilt that haunted him months ago beginning to heal. "I'm sorry I didn't come back and see you," he whispers, and Vicchan licks his face again.

"It's okay, Yuuri. I love you!"

"Oh, Vicchan!"

Suddenly, a strange feeling takes over Yuuri, and he stills beneath the wild, strong urge to rush off -- to save someone?

"He's in trouble," Yuuri whispers, but he doesn't know who he is talking about. He knows, though, deep in his soul, that someone is in trouble, and that Yuuri is the only person who can save him. 

Vicchan jumps down, then pushes the Eros Love Rod into Yuuri's hands.

"Wait, where did you --"

"There's no time, Yuuri! We have to go save him!"

"Save who?!"

Vicchan jumps up onto his shoulder, and in a burst of white light, they are gone.

They reappear in the middle of -- Tokyo?! Yuuri stares up at Tokyo Tower in shock, not believing his eyes, but the feeling of urgency blares in his mind again, making him wince. As if by instinct, he takes off running through the empty alleys, somehow managing to avoid the crowds, heading to where the feeling is leading him.

"You have a great power, Yuuri, but it only comes from deep devotion! Eros! Erotic love! I felt your power growing last year, but it didn't appear until December! Now it's ready, and you can use it to save your beloved from evil!"

There is nothing in Vicchan's words that make any sense to Yuuri -- but then, he is running through Tokyo in a mini-skirt, and his dog is talking to him. Nothing makes sense anymore.

"Okay, fine," he huffs, accepting his fate for the second time. He still doesn't quite believe it, but he might as well go with the flow.

He arrives at the entrance to a long, dark alley, and at the end, he sees a flash of light, before a scream fills the air. Without waiting, Yuuri runs forward, noticing a man cowering against a wall before his eyes land on the monster. It looks like any generic monster from a magical girl anime, and Yuuri wonders how this is his life. 

He glances at the victim again -- and does a second take, because it's Viktor Nikiforov.

"I'm sorry," Viktor babbles, tears in his brilliant eyes, "I haven't got any yen, I only have a card -- do you take cards? Please don't eat me." He whimpers, and that's all Yuuri can take.

He points the Eros Love Rod at the monster, as Vicchan jumps off his shoulder. "Get away from Viktor, monster!"

The monster twists unnaturally and leers at him, its lurid yellow eyes bright in the darkness. It growls at him, and Yuuri doesn't wait another moment, twirling his rod and then swinging it down. The words come to his lips unbidden.

"Katsudon Fatale Beam!"

Inside, he wants to weep. What is he saying?!

A bright light erupts from his Eros Love Rod and engulfs the monster, vaporizing it in an instant. Yuuri stumbles a little, shocked at the rush of magic that had swept through him and through the rod, reaching up to pull at the bow at his neck. Is it just him, or does it feel hot out here?

"You did it, Eros!" Vicchan barks and runs to Yuuri, beaming up at him. 

Yuuri lowers the rod and gapes, not quite believing his eyes. Then he shakes his head, realizing that the urgent feeling of _need_ had faded, and he thinks on that for a moment. Somehow, he had known Viktor was in trouble, and had been able to transport himself to Viktor's side almost instantly to save him.

Shaking his head, Yuuri turns to look at Viktor, and jumps a little when he finds Viktor standing far too close to him, his eyes wide and nearly sparkling with admiration.

"Wow," Viktor breathes, staring at Yuuri as if lovestruck. "You saved my life! Amazing!" The slur of his words cues Yuuri in to the fact that Viktor is very, very drunk, which doesn't surprise him at all, considering the pictures on Viktor's Instagram. "It's like I dreamed you into life! You look just like him!" Then he pauses and squints. "Hey, that outfit looks kind of familiar."

Wait, what?

"Um," Yuuri stutters, backing away from Viktor. He can't be seen by his idol in a dress! A magical dress, no less! Then again... Viktor doesn't seem to recognize him, which breaks Yuuri's heart a little, but he's more relieved than anything else. "A-are you okay?"

Viktor's face lights up. "Oh, good, you speak English! I'm okay! I'm a little drunk, but I'm definitely okay!" He laughs, and the open smile on his face seems more real than any of the shining smiles he wears in public. Yuuri admires him for a short moment, then shakes himself, looking around for Vicchan.

Vicchan jumps into his arms again, and Yuuri steps back, blushing furiously. He is standing in the middle of Tokyo in front of his longtime crush and idol -- _in a magical dress!_

"Omigosh, you even have a poodle! It's like we're meant to be!" Viktor gushes, and Yuuri cannot handle that at all.

"I should go," he blurts out, then turns as if to run. Viktor grabs his arm, and Yuuri can't help but look back at him in surprise.

"Wait," Viktor pleads, "at least tell me your name. Tell me this isn't a dream."

By all rights, it should be, but Yuuri has never felt anything more real. "Eros," he whispers, then swallows. "When... whenever you need me, Viktor, I'll be there for you. I'll always protect you. Just call for me, and I'll come."

Then he flees, leaving Viktor standing in the alley alone, his hand still reached out for Yuuri.

Yuuri runs and runs until he can barely breathe, all the while screaming, "That was so embarrassing!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [@selkiesou](https://selkiesou.tumblr.com/) wanted more, so.

Yuuri is not ashamed to say that he ran away screaming That Night. Not that he ever talks about That Night, let alone even think about it, even though it is on his mind constantly and without fail. It's on his mind so much that Yuuri has taken to doodling pictures of Viktor in a cape with a rose in his mouth.

_Fucking magical girl tropes._

At least Vicchan isn't hounding him to go search for parts of a long lost crystal or find parts of his "court." If Yuuri finds out that he's the long lost princess of the moon, he's jumping ship and moving to Antarctica.

...with Viktor. Because that will have to be a thing.

Thankfully Viktor doesn't seem to have gotten in any further trouble. Then again, it's only been three days, so Yuuri isn't holding his breath.

As if on cue, his senses begin to ring with warning, and Yuuri covers his face. "I don't want to," he says to his hands, and Vicchan yanks on his pants leg.

"Come on, Yuuri! Viktor must be in trouble!"

 _Of course he is,_ Yuuri thinks sardonically, grabbing his Eros Love Rod and casting the magic spell to transform into Eros. The outfit is just as frilly and sparkly as last time, and with a heavy sigh, Yuuri picks up Vicchan and concentrates on Viktor's location.

He reappears in a brightly lit apartment in Russia. Vicchan jumps down, and Yuuri looks around warily, recognizing it from the many magazines about Viktor and his life. He is in Viktor's home, and Viktor --

"Eros!" Viktor cries from the kitchen, where he is holding onto his hand tightly. Yuuri sees red and gasps, hurrying over to him -- but Viktor has only burned his hand.

Yuuri frowns at him, then gently pulls Viktor away from the stove, absently turning it off. With a twirl of his wand, he makes a small jar of aloe ointment appear, and all too carefully, he applies the medicine to Viktor's wound.

"This wasn't what I had in mind when I said 'whenever you need me,' Viktor," Yuuri mutters, and Viktor lets out a startled laugh.

"You still came, though," Viktor replies, his voice quiet. Yuuri peeks up at him, then hurriedly looks down, his face warming from the intense expression on Viktor's face. Viktor is unfairly beautiful, and he is in Viktor's apartment -- in a dress, of all things -- and Viktor doesn't even know who he really is.

At least something good has come out of this nonsense.

"I thought you were a dream," Viktor said a moment later. Yuuri shrugs and takes a packet of bandages from Vicchan, beginning to wrap them around Viktor's wrist.

"Not a dream. Somehow," Yuuri sighs, looking over at his dog, who is grinning happily at him. "I really don't know what this is. I don't understand it at all."

"Hmm," Viktor hums, watching him, and Yuuri avoids meeting his gaze. "Well, now that I have you here..." Then Viktor does something very strange -- he wraps his arms around Yuuri and pulls him closer.

Yuuri turns bright red. "V-V-Viktor?!"

Viktor grins. "What, I'm not allowed to appreciate a beautiful person when they come to my rescue? You're in my apartment, saving my life --"

"Your _hand_ ," Yuuri interrupts, desperately.

"And you came for me. No one else has ever rushed to save me before," Viktor says, his wide eyes nearly sparkling with amazement. Yuuri could get lost in them forever -- has done so before, through posters and videos. 

His face feels like it's on fire. "I, um, I have to..."

After a brief moment, Viktor lets him go, his mien softening with something like regret. "Well, until next time I need you, then. Eros." He winks, and Yuuri wonders if Viktor knows more than he is letting on -- but Viktor says nothing else, so Yuuri makes his escape.

"I think he likes you," Vicchan tells him, as Yuuri is running along a rooftop a few minutes later.

"Shut up!"


End file.
